For all my sisters -----------------------------(1995) Lawrence A. McFadden




i hope you don't mind

i've already made love to you

ten thousand times in my mind and

right behind every thought i thought

and every would i could stood

the pounding of my heart as i tried

to feel how i would feel naked

to your touch and how you would feel

kissed with the shyness gone

from our lips


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i walked into the light

of the night last night

to cover myself in darkness

and i must confess to every shadow

a likeness and every step a dance

and if you have not felt the night wind

then cross your breath in silence of how

everything appears to be kindly and carefully

watched in the coming and the going of who

or what when and where then and here

i tag along a tag-a-long vagabond

with eyes like lanterns and with the joy

of a little boy with something new

you knew when the journey ends

i will return again and we will grin again

and begin again anew

as the evening mends the afternoon

and then we make love to me

and then to you

in the warmth of the fire

and in the light

of the moon


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from the heart is truly

the gift of any art and your

laughter brings the sun and

your smile the moon for the gift

of your wit is from the ancient

nitwits of which i am just a twit

in the court of the queen of your heart

and i may be the king in the land of la

la the ace of diamonds plays to your dire

straights in figures of eight and each

fold of the hands unfolds something new

and true about me and you and yeah yeah

yeah i want to hold your hand through

the naked light of the moon till dawn

in the everlasting bond of love

on the wings of doves


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you are the sun i am the moon

i am the moon you are the sun

i want to be the moon for the night

is just a frown turned up-side-down

crown me in celebration for the moonrise

through the willows across the misted

fields in the silence of the clouds

is as spectacular as the day and the day

is as beautiful as the brightness and glory

of a sunday spring morning flowering

with the songs of our earth mother

and i long for my home

before the sun scorches the sky

and the daybreak brings the cry

the call the song of the morning dove

has become my lullaby and the sounds

of last nights laughters still fresh

in my ears your moonbeam smiles and then

daylight swoops down on these droopy eyes

and i break fast on the wings of sleep

and in the sweet dreams

of you


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from the glean in your keen eyes

i spied the stars in the skies

and i laughed how many times i tried

to spread my wings and fly with words

that sing and flutter like flutes and

drums to one another with two wings

we could fly but i want our spirit

to soar in this world and the only

two words heard is the nightly whisper

of once more love is a token till our

touch is what is spoken to me and

to you together in as many blue moons

as two in the night dream scene

of me with a beam from the moon

wrapped in the arms of you


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i am kindly considerate and considerably kind

yet that spook of a cat that showed itself

at the top of the stairs caused my hair to prickle

and ripple down my spine and this time i went

at that cat with some sage smoke and the hope

to scat that cat with a sacred chat that if the cat

stayed it would do me good with all the woulds

and shoulds and coulds but that cat didn't scat

so i sat back with the third show of where that

cat was at and i now lacked fear and i think it

dear no matter how near this spook for a cat is at

i don't care if it ever talks back but i was thinking

of setting out a bowl of milk to ask it to appear

and if the cat can hear i say stay if you want

but make your want clear


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your shadows keep running from me

to my bended knee plea of please

please me for there is no greater

mystery than the many faces i see

when you are making love to me and

there is no greater need to escape

to where your lips are gulping the

sweet air of ecstasy and there is no

greater truth to the kindness in me

than i will only do what your guiding

hand commands

all the shadows are gone now

the first touch is yours

run from me

or i will soothe the ache

of your plea on bended knee

of please please me


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only a fool

would wear a crown

and only a fool

would wear it for free

they call me crazy

like you've never seen

a curse be a blessing

in this world of believe

i before e

and what seems to be i can't say

but i know its in me

for i am the void

of the vessel and i sail at dawn

or when i am at your side and

we drift away on the surf of the night

wind through the trees in the woods

in darkness we dream in the light

of our souls or so it seems

where are you who calls

me my love show yourself to me

we live many many lives

or lie to me when i hear your call

but i wish to see

show yourself to me

show me what i see


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you see

i love what i touch

and i touch what i love

and i've been crazy enough

to find i am free

to see what you see in me

in you in me i see the desire

to be free

if only

for a moment long or wrong

if only for a day or night

if only for the night

if only all night always

if only for you if only for me

i will take you there

where we can come

for free


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i thirst in the cool clear water of clarity

and chase the clouds in my dreams needlessly

for the maniac in me wants to believe in the need

to kiss from your lips the pouring rain

and hear the whispers of your voice soothe

the pounding of my heart to the pause in awe

on the shore of your soul i wander alone

along the nonsense of another long night

alone along the sacred sands and the holy sea

i see in me the depths of tranquility

i do not live in a world of reason

and i do not know when the wisdom will come

but i do know now i must gather the evening fire

and prepare for the days when all who come

will hear the calling song of our earth mother

and will rise up singing the uprising songs of spring


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the words don't come easily

and it broke my stride when

you came out of hiding then

pulled my face to the black lace

along the insides of your thighs

and if your hips were a canvas

i would of kissed you at high noon

and licked till deep sacred midnight

the fire that dances from star to star

and your fingers probed deep into my skull

and guided my tongue tied wide to a

thin pencil lead scribble and arched

rainbow climb of your spine to each

nibble and wiggled sigh of your buttocks

spread wide


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you pinned my cross to the naked breast

of your black dress and my lips curled

to lick the air for the drop of blood

and the scent that did not come

from above left me gulping for air

my father taught me to kill

and as a warrior i do battle still

but it is my mother's ruptured heart

i sought everyday to save and only now

can i feverishly laugh at the forty years

i have witnessed and i have been testified

with scorn the look of clarity in your eyes

when you see why we are all alone to walk

the miles of path back into the shadows

back to the woods of our souls

to the sacred fires and whose ash

do i now carry into the day from the

guardians of the night wings and from

all the children of the moon

i come to you for only your smile

awakes me to another day

strong from slumber

to make this day my home in the comfort

of where i can care and in the wisdom

of tiny hands a laughter that spills into

the spellbound song of let me

i want to see


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fe fi fo fum

i am the melting

ice cubed cum of the

norse gods i am the pale

moon i am the white night

i am the snow

i am the testicular

with spectacled eyes

and realized sighs

that come at night

and come and come and

come back for the frozen

one has again begun

to thaw

and the blossom bloom

and the weed hoe

and seed sown


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sometimes

when i want her touch

my hands throb full of heartbeats

and to say the least yes i am touched

with the greatest of all strengths

a gentle touch

in being the beast we all seek

and need to release she soon

will be beyond reach

and beyond reach i am left without

speech and i fold my hands

and bow my head

to a red moon rising in the night

one half dark and one half light

for i too am following the eagle path

with a love that will last far beyond

the darkness and the light of one night

till the day we will make love in flight

with the passions that today

carries you far away

and leaves me

throbbing in the night


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i walked all day

and all through the night

to the woods of your soul

and i caught the thought of why

did i look into your eyes

i cared not to stare and i saw

your green eyes are the gypsy souls

you will come to know and i saw

your body dance like that of those

who are unafraid to cast away

the demons and dragons that keep

me away with tongues of fire

to slowly wind up my legs like

roots of ivy that beg me each day

to stay and tonight there appears

in the half moon light a gathering

of spirits at my sight and above

a burning light flies across the sky

and i know i am walking in your dream

light for the instant we all have sight

and i want to grow hard in the comfort

of your arms and i want you to feel

the warmth of my body on a winters night

i cannot keep my thoughts from talking

me into the thought that soon the thaw

of spring will bring days when the fountain

we share will become the mountains of thunder

and the nights will fill with the stars

from our eyes and our hearts will share

the wonder at each journeys end

to wander hand in hand again


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while in my sight

the light of the moon

was gold tonight

and i thought of a

thought to hold dear

and it became clear

venus and mars

were about as far apart

as the beat of my heart

and i find my joy

where the pain had left me

and where the spirits

now heal me

i want and i want and i

want till i want no more

to take your hand

and say come with me

to a view clear through

what seems to be reality

i wipe away the tear

of why you are not now near

and i light my bowl

of crushed souls

and watch as the spirit

of the crow in flight closes

my path of strife

and i ease in the soothing warm love

of the rainbow and fluttering dove

to fall deep asleep

in the sleep

of sweet release


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the zoom of the afternoon

turned the early evening gloom

into the kindly wink of sprinkles

from the thick clouds between us

and the fullness of the moon

with a thin line between now

and too soon

perhaps a chance to dance

was the chant of my soul

perhaps some sacred laughter

needed to unfold or perhaps

the noel of no hell

was finally shown

yet the way you look at me

and smile will always be

the best of any show

i know i was told with carefully

chosen words more than once your wants

and believe me i was warned

the very first time you pressed

your eager body against mine

and for better or worse

sicker or poorer the verse

i have chosen love for the course

not the curse and i love you

with all the warmth and worth

of a human heart

at birth


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she spreads her wings

to sing the songs of eagles

and my heart soars in the roar

of never before but on all fours

i cannot follow her to the midnight

sun but i know i can go to grandmother

moon and soon in the wish of a feather

be in the dreams of my wandering heart

to be told of where my love goes

and when the shadow of her flights

will again cross my path

and show me the light


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the room was sun

yellow

windows open wide

full strong breeze

the breeze i swear

you flew to me

with me nude

and on my knees

you smiled so sweetly

when you climbed back

on the breeze

and left me

dancing

for the moment heals

me and she has come

and she has gone

and she will come

again

in my painted scenes

of fantasy and dream

my sisters

have come to me

this time

radiantly

yellow