From soul to soul -----------------------------(2003) Lawrence A. McFadden




Dedicated to the Goddess

of Ayahuasca



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i spin my web

throughout the world

to keep myself

from being alone

in the hell of all alone

the most painful truths

are my own

i follow my words

into yesterday

and tomorrow

in the days i am alone

i refuse to exist

in the lonely world

of only existence

i must become

i just can not be

nothing

now you can see me

spin my web


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i want to hear

the voice of your poetry

i will not remember

your name

and there's no need

to remember mine

i will watch the walk you walk

not the talk you talk

i will not see the image

in your eyes nor seek

what you are looking for

i do not care what is in

your head or between

your legs

i want to listen to the voice

of your soul as you listen

to mine

only then can we truely

understand each other

only then can we truely

talk truely walk truely

love truely see

truely be

one


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in my path

through the soul

with the softest glow

of the show of shadows

and the many times shine

of our sacred eyes

dark stars of sight our twilight

our might our light our night

kindles the fires of our kindred

desires a touch a splash a chill

of will and the stillness still

empties and fills our souls

and flows and stills and flows

and will and flows and chills

a touch a splash a laugh

outloud like the thunder

of the clouds and somehow

now i close my eyes and find

i am now somewhere inside

where i cannot hide where i

cannot lie where i cannot die

where i once eternally cried


_________________________________



MAN IN THE MOON

i have the love of a woman

and the hopes of a child

sacred faith and blessed grace

total insanity and total freedom

mentally to see

in ways all is meant to be

i now must step from the shadows

and dance into the light

of the day to greet the world

hugging my embrace

the calling of my name

a path of no destination

on the wings of destiny

the fate that can

no longer linger

wandering again in wonder

wondering again beyond

yonder always finding

goddess guiding

in my church

of constant search

i keenly feel

the wound of the world

and kneel with all hope

and every kindness

hand in hand

with the love of life

and my wish for all

may life be just

a bowl of larrys


_________________________________



you are my warmth in the darkness

of life i cannot see unless i feel you

crystal ice fire bright divine twilight

i cannot speak without your voice

i can only fly when you are the beat

of my heart and i soar with your songs

singing in my soul you teach me peace

in chaos and ease my strife and fears

of life with your serenity of insight

you are the you of i i am the me

of you in the melting streams

of your glorious dreams i wander

in awe and wonder trembling

with joy at times trembling in terror

nourishing encouraging returning

me healing me trusting me

to provide for others the spirit

of you as you provide for your

spirit in me in need in deed

soulfully insanely completely

gracefully alive in the death

of ego for a breath of moonglow

in the beam of your dreams

rainbow serpents and flames

eye of the spirit in a world

calling my name


_________________________________



genuinely gentle

nothing sparkles until seen

zenmental men ancient wisdom

sacred women insane faith

holy light of might glistening twilight

blazing rays of wonderful wonder

reflecting on sips of words on wisps

of wings on a wish silently heard

on the lips of the kissed and hissed

told and retold for thousands of years

on millions and millions of tears

do you go where you flow will

the spirits save you within

a box of words until you decide to

fly and reach inside to

break the chains through

the thresholds in rhyme

and rythm with time


_________________________________



rainbow dream

i beam

with moonglow

from the pond of poems

in the forest of my soul

to crack the prose

through the black

beauty of the night

in the nonsense

of your sense

i can not touch

without love

i can not taste grace

without you in madness

to be me to be you

breaking the never mind

mind of never

blooming where i'm planted

i seek not only rain and sun

but moon and star

dust and ash on the winds

kindred and free

of what was and shall be


_________________________________



the sunset rose

in my eyes i saw

you fly across the moon

and through my heart

through my lips through

my hands i laughed

so that my breath

may catch your wink

to tumble together to

rumble across the universe

in drum and in song

in joy and in verse

heartsongs spells and

charms along the path

back through the moonlit

misted woods to the sacred

fires in the moment today

becomes tomorrow

in the sunset rose

i watched you become

the clouds become

the vision become

the wind of my voice

of my spirit of my twilight

of my earth


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for the time being

you leap from my fingertips

i see you when i see

my words are madness

teaching me freeing me

being me intensely

the reality the eternity

the divinity the spirituality

of the earth sacred mother

of all wisdom hope and love

i will always be your child

your son a man kind taught

to be one with the earth

one with the spirits one

with the universe


_________________________________



dipped in moonlight

you are cacao and wine

i taste you in my rhyme

i ring you with my words

you are the glory of my world

you cannot hide your wings

when your touch is like a feather

you are what the thunder brings

sacred rains in the wisdom of the

weather in the never of never

i have fallen often i have sailed

failed sails i can sing the songs

of being wrong now i am strong

and can bravely say you are

the hope in my hands the courage

in my heart the faith of my fate

i do not believe in the power in me

i believe in the medicine of you

you pour your cure into

my words into my eyes

into time dipped in moonlight

i taste you in my rhyme


_________________________________



my womb closes around you

i have eternity in me and infinity

a loyalty

you welcome me to the other side

of forever

i hope my life is worth my painful

birth mother of all

i have heard other worlds

call in sips of other streams

of other dreams

in the band of woman to man

i am rooted to the vine

to the serpent to the earth

kissed by the moon

i lick the black sky

completely


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i am in awe of the sacred

twists of the vine of my life

of the shadows of the day

and the rays of light

in the night in the union

in view in reach in peace

in guidance with my two

feet two hands one tongue

amazed given helpings

lessons loves and touches

to be shown the tools

of the craft and the craft

of the tools and if i try

i fail i need only to be

kind to see your blessings

to those around me

you keep me in darkness

and i agree because then i can

see your glow growing

around me and feel

you dance in my sisters

to the beat of our hearts


_________________________________



with you nothing is empty

i am not the only one alone

sometimes it is a chore

those with vision are rarely seen

in the scattered wisdom

through the tattering viel

the cresent moon cups my thoughts

with peace within the palms

of the wandering vine

the shimmer shapes

a serpent reaching out

to tread together within

the jewel of your eyes

shining all around me

i soar through my dreams

last night in the light

of my walk today


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in the parade of the day

you touch me in every way

everywhere i look i see

the arc of rainbow above me

and the serpent of light

carrying me on the flutter

of wings on songs long gone

sung anew into the darkness

i have met me in other lives

and i have always been crazy

since the dawn i have kissed

the noon day sun till the evening

moon freed the lunatic in me

and i rejoice with the thunder

of the spoken words "rest assured"

the silence cracks within me

like broken arrows we will weep

no more


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cornfields

the myth of ifs of life

i walk to the pond to gather

feathers that sing sing with light

maybe i'll make a fan some day

or ritually fly away in the v

of love in the v of alive

in the eye that must die to see

in the years that must hear

silence to speak silently

with touch with honor with joy

beyond this world of words

this world of illusion this world

of temptation there is power

in medicine there is no medicine

in power my wants want to define me

my spirit too laughs and releases me

with ease with a corn tassel laural

to heal


_________________________________



the clouds zoomed past

the moon full of might

then froze in the time

in my mind

there was deer in the moon

that night i had lived there

with the bears

i listen to father sky

his visions swoop across

my mind to a shine

to a clarity to a focus

a gentleness a beam

within me within my shadow

within the shadows a ray

candle to candle to candle

for thousands of years

through time through love

through now


_________________________________



i have the strength of many

broken dreams the might

of any day and the touch

of every moment i need

the spirit sings on the wings

of birds above me on words

around me in the sign i see

i listen to the visions to hear

the colors of sound the shapes

of voices the seek of the sought

the hummm

i have the fire of a million

suns in one and the emptiness

of every night alone this is

how me and the moon kiss

this is how me and the spirits

hug each other this is how

i tag along guided through

the hoop of hopes in time

of the whyme rhyme

faith or fate mystery

eventually destiny

whispers for all

to hear


_________________________________



call me a drumhead

for i have a drum in my head

that beats in my heart

and flows through my blood

like love

there is an order to the beat

like words speak

and the voice is the rythym

in a spiritual command

that flows through

the eyes of the hand

at the spirits demand

and hear with the ears

the thousands of years

the sound that comes

from the beat

of every drum


_________________________________



i lit my bowl tobacum bold

and slipped through my lips

to wander the sky through

the winkle in time i knew

not where i went

nor the words spent

to return again again

with feathers that sing

sing with light to soften

and soothe the fallen

the wings bring your

calling to teach the reach

for peace gently kindly

lovely the glory the throb

i listen to all i see in

monuments of moments

you wobble me warble

me and leave ripples

in my tranquility


_________________________________



i return to the sacred fires

to restore the long forgotten flame

of metaphor to sing the songs

that live on forever together

to circle the words squarely

bravely lightly precisely

beams the dreams of your

world through my world

to the world of words

a paper path a talking trail

i cannot escape the insanity

i cannot escape the darkness

i can only create the wonder

like a child like you knew

i could like you knew

i would lost in the woods

of ifs and shoulds


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the committee of insanity

muses minstrels and vagabonds

healers fools and rainbows

troubadours disciples and bums

seekers through the spiritual void

of this world the legions of long ago

hobos flow through me this hour

of today the present of the past

at last i am a hinge for my

community your blessed be

is the key to the mirror in me

in the hour of our need when

time shines in time in time

for the necessity


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each day another bead

of rosary another deed

another feather another

rainbow to sing to one

another the spirit

of the flock the heard

absurd the love within

the coven the unity

of community

where all hearts beat

here i bloom here where

i always return to find

the strength to walk

alone


_________________________________



i

am

crazy cloud

softly aloft in my thoughts

in my eyes in the sky

in the tease of the breeze

through the trees

you are pleased with the walk

of my words the many times

my breath has caught

the wind caught the thought

sought the knot the thread

to where i am led in my head

in my said wandering along

on the songs of the wandering

vine beyond yonder i am

a feather on the wings of

thunder a feather on the

wings of forever i find

your words today in my

marrow and sip the wisps

of the sky for your wish

of me tomorrow


_________________________________



we so much see you

we laugh at ourselves

we are they and they

are them and this is us

in my solitude

i have seen you every

where in every heart

in every forever in every

meloncholy moment

of today the crack of the

whisper in the gentleness

of love and the echo through

many lives the shine

of being kind


_________________________________



nomadness here

restlessness the stir

of the fire the waves

upon the sea to coax

the hope within me

my path is black

i am a servant of the white

serpent carrying me further

and further into the great

mystery through the arch

of reality to rebuild the bridge

of poetry for the walk of faith

to leap into song like an icaro

thousands of years old

the voice of the soul in

communion with the divine

vine these words are not a box

nor a building but a bridge

from this poets soul words

i do not own a bridge i am

told from soul to soul to soul

to soul...


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i fold you in thirds

to send you these words

i hear you listening

your eyes are glistening

to the whisper of my lips

as i kiss this page

in the court of the goddess

darkness draws me to your light

i find your diamonds in my mind

when i crack open time

to wander through the threshold

of prose to the beauty of poetry

in the rhyme of our tongues

as one in this temple some

call flesh this prayer is for you

the goddess within

all of us


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blessed be the insanity

thank you mother gratefully

i am a crown of your creation

the other day faces of lions

peeked through the trees

and the cloud people appeared

to me

last night a feather arrived

from the sky softly falling swirling

in song here i heard i am where

i belong

now within your darkness of sight

an eagle wrapped with wings

a ring

now within your darkness of might

an owl clasped talons to my

breasts

in the blue beam of your crystal

light from within your womb

in me i am reborn to the spirits

of the earth

great mother of all i can only hope

my life is worth the pain

of my birth


_________________________________



at night

when darkness dissolves

to slumber my exhaustion

turns to exhilaration

as i soar above the trees

the spirit in me in the

presence of you takes flight

in sight and leaves my body

to the other side of the sky

i slip through space and time

with your grace to the palace

of prayer in nowhere to the

crypt of the crippled in the

air to the blessed curse of verse

in the songs of the spirits

of earth in the one with the

universe in the two of me

and you in the three of

dreams to shed our skins

of need with the feathers

of light through the night


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such a pleasent day

to wander over to the pond

to create bouquets of the

feathers i find in peace

with the geese one day

i hope to duck and stork

too as tall as the falling

shadows in the last warmth

of the day and if i could

dance i would say no shout

from my heart the joy of

the journey returning

in a swirl of autumn leaves

to gather the feathers

that see through the black

october night the flight

of geese across the full

moon sky in my wandering

prayers of wonder in the

church of constant search

here where i ponder the pond

and belong to the earth


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in an instant of forever in

the eternity of a moment

to see time and time again

the faces in rock trees and

sky the song of my heart

the belief of leaf and feather

all together i feel you feel me

the energy the light the wisdom

of the night to hear the dreams

in the drums of yesterday and

tomorrow takes from me my

sorrow and despair

i give you these words free

to behold like the feathers

and leaves twirl and tumble

across the distance of thought

through the mind through

the universe the unity of

verse rambling on inside


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count me in

the court of the goddess

the nocturnal the eternal

in the eye of the palm

in the song thousands

of years long one of many

men mostly women who

embrace the earth with

their wings and soul

recognized not by their

talk but by their walk

and greatest of all strengths

a gentle touch a kindness

a peace unforgettable

in the struggle of everyone

everywhere in our strife

through life