Some selected collected poems -----------------------------(1989-1994) Lawrence A. McFadden



to thee

taller tree

i want to stay

but you never leave

in the frosts

that chill the times

i feel

a warm breeze

when my stare

is the wind

through your limbs

and the rustle

of the leaf

are many birds

in hand yet

your need only grows

inside your shade

and the embrace

is only as strong

as one


in the splendor

of solitude

i too


a loneliness

of the soul

to grow and blossom

as i


bring the water


and fire

from the mother

of earth


lightning of light

your eyes know my delight

the rumble of speech

is just a peep

from where i sigh

with distance

for you to reach

my latest leap

with might i keep

in touch

of the lust

of i lover very much

must the lover of such

keep tokens or polished promises

spoken between the grace

of the space of two lives

to be a woman

to be a man


to be a man

to be a woman

of the space of two lives

spoken between the grace

keep tokens or polished promises

must the lover of such

of i lover very much

of the lust

in touch

with might i keep

my latest leap

for you to reach

with distance

from where i sigh

is just a peep

the rumble of speech

your eyes know my delight

lightning of light



only last overnight

dreams make life

there is a bond of wife

to every experience

of the night

the first touch of the morning

is greater than any word

or sight

i am not ashamed of my might

though very well hidden

the brightest light

there is a penance i must do

for those will never be forgotten

and how the sex may be great

the empty feeling grates

and love hates

for the sake of sorrow

let there be tomorrows

the more special the day

the greater we can play

and the louder

the thunder

of our



i am a man child

of the moon

as with you

rise my dreams

brighten and beam

all i do

is to follow the stream

around and through

the many trees of wonder

to greet the shadow

for there is shade

where we once laid

our halos

and danced the timeless

page of another day

of simple touches

touching the greatest of charms

to be in each other's arms

with no broken wares

let us share

in how we bare

the nakedness

of our soul


in communion

i drink your ink

with no pitchfork

or halo's wink

i know the now is

knots of knock knock

all woman can

indeed be a woman

be free

yet with many trees

i grow weary of please

the nakedness

i write appears


to those who do not wish

do not drink

from the chalice

everyday of the heart's palace

and the easiest promises

can never be kept

i slept with your thoughts

and i was taught

silence sometimes is a reply

in kind

and i awake fresh

for i too am flesh

to reach too in touch

i spill my ink blind

with closed eyes

in the gentlenesses

of the time of the moon




aye mate me


the captain stalked

with the staff

into my wife the tear


am i

a frayed knot

of silence

i knew the bull

of thorns who hurts

a rose

i was

was given a feather

and the honey of the dead

trees are my ancestors

dancing in harm



rainbow of many colors

draw from the bowl, knot

of the dread



i am crazy

cloud of thunder apache

of popes who cannot

afford hats of hobbits

the lack of speech

can chew ribbons of steel

into little kings babylon

of noble


was given

the gift of a rock

from the moon


my room

spheres another being

cockroachs of time that

never touched sewers

of seawater

yet seek the perfection

of filthy water in the orgasms

with pedestal squats

or not

impaled on forks

rotisserie of dripping blood

eater in flesh of babylon

why couple the parasite

when i want nothing in life

nature can't give

to me



the bottom

button of the totem

cannot be ripped by vested bests

a pool of calcium and corpuscles

swims the nigger concrete

as i chewed with broken teeth

eating my elbows and knees

to free the chains

from me


glass shards

of my shattered skull

on the stonetable of soul

the window of cruelest wealth denial

kiss the mother complete

as i arch dreads talon

shredding the womb torn brain

to heal the bark

of trees





yellow pigtail

of sir john the nobellion


to servant

an ancient ancestor


an ancient symbol


the clue of many words

and the value


for everyone

the zen

masters laugh





the art opening



of her eyes wondered up to me

both touching we felt goodness within

the stark bite of eavesdropped sight

and the shadows on the wall hung

the heaviest painting of panting breaths

mine or yours could have easily slipped

as we tasted lips of wine in a whirl

fool grin of the world of fools spinning

carts of concentration in the darts

of conversation mingled in the gentle

peace of art some where in our hearts

shared in a where somewhere other then

here home alone again in the darkness

of strife that separates art from life



someone is chopping down a tree to build a church

someone is loading up all weapons to heal all hurt

someone is murdering a doctor and rewarding a thief

someone is telling our prophets to cash in belief

someone poisons the food so everyone can eat

and stealing from the poor the trash at our feats

someone created a heaven to destroy the earth

someone fills us with fear at the thought of something queer

someone stacks the deck in every shuffle for a new hand

someone made all human worth the bottom line of the land

someone said there is no wrong with just throwing it all away

and the poor and the sick are the taxes no one can pay

someone aids every disease with the need for more greed

and the ones who have the most are crying the loudest

and why do we wait to do nothing with our lives


the weather makers

sacred clowns and

human beans


left town today

no one saw they came


why else did the weather change

and why else did you have to laugh

and why do you


in a dream



i lay my head

on the stump

of the cherry tree

for the sword of islam

to rescue me


my eyes

behind the veil

in privacy i too

vow to the crescent


the western star

is a dark wanderer

as flock is to the shepherd

and alms to the poor

and sick of greed



summer storm

i ever testified

everyone was up and gone

to be well fed or well bred


i stayed

so long as i gave

and gave and took

my life

to the empty church

of belief




rural road indiana long ago

in a snowfall stall called

a dog of the past up ahead

led by a flock of sparrows

i felt again the arrow

in my heart at the death

of a pet in the middle

of the road now covered in

snow walking came into sight

might i've known what was

being shown in today's light

my first face of death now

walks my pet led by a flock

of sparrows i coasted to a stop

his ears still flopped and i knew

not how to talk to a flock or

whether to walk the country roads

in dead silence of a snowfall

called my dog to my side

yes he died

now my spirit guide


the bow

wrapped in red robe

probes like a finger

my guts tighten hard like

a nut a shell to the broken glass

hell that once were my emotions

now a feeling of the bow healing

the scars and melting the shards

that many years of broken dreams

only hardened

perhaps when the gut glass

is gone the many arrows

in my heart will take flight

with the sorrows of

my life


the sparrows

took flight in flock

and with rapidly wild

wings talked the darting motion

of a needle darning the tears

of my heart together with the gift

that sorrow tore apart and opened

my soul to where only the wounded go

now i am trusted with many hearts

who can open mine again to flow

with sorrow the gift that makes the

heart flutter and talk how the arrows

of my heart are now the sparrows

with rapidly wild wings taking

flight in flock


in his time

my grandfather caruso

would close his barber shop

and go cry like a baby

with the clowns

everytime the opera

came to town

to lift his tears of sorrow

from the face of life

today i love to cry

my grandfathers tears

like a baby given a gift

from the grateful



i remember being

a jesus freak

when the love

of sex and drugs

really rocked and

rolled to us

yet not stoned

and to be religious

meant to believe

in the belief

of everything

as our prayers

were our lives

and i felt as i do


when all i share

has to last

the rest of my life