The songs I sing -----------------------------(2001) Lawrence A. McFadden

dedicated to the goddess

of ayahuasca

vine of the soul

the dream


Since i've known you

each day is a million

miles away and yesterday

is a thousand years ago

i think of you

and flow in wonder

of the wonder of

the peace and love

and all of the above

i feel from you

i drink from you

and have no thirst

i think of you

and have no thoughts

i feel you

and i have everything

sing to me

for i will listen

and sing your song



to the far beyond


you give me all

i need that's all

i want

i could have

traveled the world

over a thousand times

and never found you

and you came to me

where i am

many many times

and now you will

never leave

where ever i am

and i am pleased

with the band

of woman to man

as goddess to who

i am

in the womb of you

child again


you gave me the eyes

and the kiss of eternity

like finding the heart

in a hug

the liberty that sets us free

with a love so profound

to feel the world

go round and round

to twirl and to dance

on my tongue

like the flame

that springs

from the sun


you give me a sparkle

i have never felt before

now i see my goddess

twinkle in the beauty

of every woman

the sister of sisters

and i am truly

and truthfully

kindred spirit

a brother

warrior of the divine

shown passage through

space and time

keeper of kindness

soldier of moonlight

to give solace to the shadows

in our sojourn of the night


i have the love of a woman

few men can see like me

i can feel and i can share

open and honestly

and those that i love

i too give wings

for there is no greater

bliss than to know

you are free

for no greater reason

than truthfully

call me crazy

if you want to

and if you want to

fly with me we will

soar heavenly

and if you want to

love we will

feel beautifully

and if you want to

embrace we will

touch soulfully

and truly you can

not see till you are shown

these are the ways

we all were meant to be


i am in everything

around me

i am not here

i am surrounded

when i am guided

a ray invades the darkness

inside my head glows

like my love watching

shimmering in my skull

from above

and i will turn you on

to all in my heart

and in my pocket


that must be given

to keep that must be

shared to reap

tiny truths

from which miracles

can seep like tears

of bliss once a wish

now with sacred twist

put into motion

in the instant

cast from our lips


i speak to all

inside my head

with no words

i am led to believe

the intent is sent

to all who listens

will one day hear

and there will be

visions to all

seekers who see

i may not know

but feel i may

i may not think

but see i might

i may not have

but want i don't

i walk in the lane

of the insane

with the desire

of the flames

of a fire

and the smoke

of another stroke



i breathe each breath

in ecstasy

my whole body

vibrates with eternity

i am totally alive

totally insane totally


i want to whisper

in your head

come with me

i will lead you


the maddness

of being you

and share my bliss

all you wish


you rejoice

to me and sing

my heart is bliss

and my soul ecstasy

i see through you


and you kiss my tears

deep inside

love of the divine

i taught myself

to heal myself

and i find

i have been chosen

to listen at your side

and share your love

in verse with others

far and wide


you point the view

my thoughts pass through

i journey with you

to bless more souls

than a few

the intensity of

thousands of years


the universe

in each cupped hand

i fall in you

what a beautiful view

cleansing clear through


i feel the flutter

of your wings

and i soar beyond


far beyond the shore

the blessing once more

into the divine light

of the night

with your sacred might

i take flight

far beyond this world

beyond imagination

beyond temptation

to where the spirits dwell


you cleanse my soul

of sorrow and i swell

with tens of thousands


filled with hope

and praise

today just one second

of your ecstasy

i feel each day

gives worth to my

twenty years of madness

and sadness

you give me your blessing

and i tremble with joy

once more

and now i can care

for the world


there is a seriousness

as deep as bliss

a sacredness

to the wish

of kindness

from every lips

brothers and sisters

hear this

your kindness

can heal

be kind

this is your share

of the rebirth

of the earth


i no longer

wander i soar

i no longer roam

i am home

in the church

of constant search

i saw now i see

i lived now i am alive

and i know i will never


i crossed the other side

of forever

and i stand with banner high

witness to the divine


i bathe in the eternal

flame the fountain

of every tomorrow

atop the mountain of today

in the forest of our church

the woods of my soul

burning in my bowl

i watch my thoughts dance

on the curls of the smoke

the words you spoke

still sing in my heart

your blaze makes the night

day and takes from my life

the crippling strife

as spirit you are wife

as goddess you are the blessing

of the night


in union with you

in communion with you

my prayers come true

like a majic wand

my anguish is gone

and my spirit is born anew

your divine light

gives me clarity of sight

and i feel your love

pure and real

i become one

of your sons


i welcome you

you release me to the sky

the breathe of twilight

on a ray of starlight

a tear of moonlight

i fly throught the clouds

of my mind into yesterday

and tomorrow with the

grace of madness

and loves deepest sorrow

the journey in me is the

journey in you

the truth of today

is the dawn of tomorrow

when life is a dream

we overcome the sorrow


my voice my spirit

breaks the prose into the song

of crystal clear sight like the black

october night a ray of light

an illumination

the divinity the infinity of twilight

the shine of the divine

as distant as a star as bright

as the sun inside my head

i am quenched in clarity

and i hear the distant drums

bang the clang of the thunder

sword of the spoken word

the rumble of verse

for the spirits of the earth


crack the prose

think how you think

the blood of ink that brings

the wink the twinkle of wonder

the blundering beauty

the slumbering ash

just a hunch upon a dream

the portal of the portabello

into the basil and oregano

the ladle of my mother

she is teaching a choir of orphans

to sing she wants to be heard

bell ring bright clap of thunder

drum might she calls

to all


i see

a view clear through

what appears to be reality

insanity is just

a shuffle of papers

the gnostic of the diagnostic

why cut down the tree

to build a church

why center the universe

why cross the i to dot the t

why not let me be me

i see