A FEATHER OF FOREVER -------- ©2011 Lawrence A. McFadden all rights reserved

i'm taught
not to connect the dots
yet you send hawks
into my thoughts
i know not what
to say i see hawks
at dusk fly my way
the one in the tree
above me brought
me to this prophesy
this poem filled with
dusk filled with
stillness filled with
fallow yet filled with
must filled full
with one word
trust

******************

i heard the geese
speak just beyond
those woods just
beyond these words
just beyond this
world
i searched the moon
rise sky and asked
may i see please
and my guides flew
in three v's across
the grace across
the taste across
the face of the moon
in the v of love in the
v of alive in the v of
my god and i
i tell you this just
so you know my
days are not wasted
my nights are not
empty and i love to
share the sacred shine
of the moon i love
to share the holy
shrine of the poets
soul i love to share
the shadows on the
snow awhile
ago

*******************

this is a thought
worth having
a love a hug worth
sharing a touch worth
keeping
and right on the tip
of my tongue
intuition
and right on the tip
of my nose you again
my rose
you caught my eye
two leaves in a bare
tree as a hawk
flew by
it was nothing but
winter nothing but
dusk nothing but
the thought
of us

 

********************

crunch of boot
whispers of the soul
the windless woods
fill with snow
the light dims down
as soft aloft as the
flakes falling upon
the ground
a quiet so profound
solitude the only
sound
the trees are
monuments to this
moment to this
oneness to this
awe
words that need
silence to be told
words that were
written on the
snow
some day i'll return
this poem back
to the land back
to the hand
of god

************************

i'm proud
of my tears
may i text you
my tongue
what about that
odd feeling i get
in my rectum
a actual natural
a wow in the eternal
now the laughter
outloud in the clouds
that lets winter in
my fondness
that shapes the snow
my breath
that catches each
leaf my love
the way i clutch
the moon my touch
gentle and sweet
with peace
my tears brought
me here here on a
white winters night
i grow as bold and
glow as bright as the
snows tonight

***********************

the lighted way the united
heart the peace force
freaks
become love and give
your worth to the
earth
the sacred sense
truth to truth to
truth
i've always been bent
cracked like looking
through glass chipped
for life i just ain't
quite right
and i have to stand
and sometimes shout
i ain't wrong either
bend the ends of
night braid the fires
of desires long to be
a lunatic long to be
a tree long to be
touched
like me

*****************************

may i touch you
from here
i thought i knew i
thought i knew
you
not until i touch
do i know
have a hug and
see
if you want to touch
me what part of my
smile don't you
understand
blessed be touch
me
not until i kiss
can i tell
i tried to tell you i
tried to tell you
this
i can only tell you
in a kiss
may i kiss you
from here
can i
if you want to kiss
me what part of my
love don't you
understand
blessed be kiss
me
my beloved
when you knock on
my door you open
your heart
to the world

********************

i want to go
collect smiles
i want to know
every clown in town
make mine
mime
bust a gut god
i hear you laughing
outloud
you kill me every
chance you get
the more i love
the old fool the
closer i am to
you
close enough to tickle
you giggle when i
get my wish
a hearty chuckle
my healing with what
i actually get
the medicine
of the sacred
twist

*******************

shadows i'm told
the crunch of gold
the crisp of night
autumn
the bowl of my soul
overflows with dusk
the evening fade
doorway
some say the miracle
of the day some say
the majick of the
night
this bridge of twilight
me?
i keep close to the fire
i keep close to my
heart
i wonder who will
gather this night
with me
might i meet the who
of you might i greet
you to the trees
might this grace be our
warm embrace
might the leaves crunch
all around you might
the night call to say
stay
might you wait until
tomorrow to be on your
way might you wait
for the first snows
before you go

*********************

you teach me
to slip between
every in between
there is much more
than either or
right and wrong long
gone bold with no want
or control
a thousand ears to hear
the spirit cheer and a
hundred eyes to see
inside
and i am again in the
wow of the eternal
now
may we connect with
respect earth and sky
sun and moon hearts
and souls a bridge i'm
told with everyone
young and old
such a touch to preach
peace the beam of
dreams the slip
stream

***************************

will you flock with me
would you like to be
family
i'll be a ray of october sun
you can be the longest
shadow on the run
may i hear your ecstasy
on the breath of the
mystery
may you come to know
my touch deeply
i double dare you to
share your laughter
may it be here here
after
if you have not reached
peace i'll teach
together to gather tonight's
twilight moon
you never know till you
fly inside
perhaps you are a missing
feather on the wings
of forever
all in all hand in hand
in the beauty of
yes we can

***************************

the wind is not empty
tonight not a warning
more like be alert
then the sudden rush
leaves me speechless
leaves me with a egad
and a oh god and i dread
till i remember the wind
always leaves me a little
more wise
amen to the omen
raven in a black october
sky is here to guide
step inside
i'm told if its love
if its right or if its me
this is you my beloved
teaching me not to fear
not to worry not to
despair
all i need to do is stay
true to my path stay
in the here and now
and slip into selflessness
so you can do what needs
to be done sacred one
amen to the omen
the wind the thunder
then the rain all a painfull
change for the better
in the wisdom of the
weather

****************************

the black october night
fills the chalice of
my heart
the moon rises in my eyes
and the chill spills over
into my soul
i wish i had a hand to hold
i would tell you what i've
been told
in the v of love in the v of
alive as the geese fly by
below
keep going i hear keep
going
our path is the steepest
when we are the
weakest
tonight has the crisp
of apples the smell
of woodsmoke and the
grins of all the
pumpkins

*********************

i hope you don't mind
if i see through your kind
eyes windows of the
soul
i took a look and read
your life twice like a
book the story that never
ends again and again
to sink into the drink
to live her like a river
to rise with the sky
to feel your roots
through your boots
to give your worth
to the spirit of earth
i feel bliss from this
thank you for the proper
points of view the forest
bugs me too

**********************

i close my eyes
to be touched to be
felt to die a little
death with each
breath
close your eyes
i won't stop you
two handfulls a
mouthfull a nightfull
delightfull
do you feel somewhere
inside i've yet to
touch
i won't stop you
i love you too
much

***********************

i want to hear you
listen speak to me what your
heart says not what your mind
thinks
move aside your ego
let go lets go soul to soul
i welcome you to my
temple this church of
constant church in these
woods of my soul where
god lives
on this spot i swear i can
hear him snore and the
silence roars
or not
i don't do it to say i did
it i did it to dance in my
soul with my beloved
i did it to heal my wound
of darkness i did it to be
pure and true i did it
because i can and did
and do
back in the wow of the
eternal now i looked
up and saw three ladies
walk by and i fell in love
twice

*************************

my spirit guides know
where i want to go on
this red road but they
say no i must walk my
own path and they tell
me i had to go where i
cannot lead or follow
and where the sacred
say i have gone alone
where there is here and
now you taught me i am
never alone you are
always with me spirit
when i let go it says
itself are those voices a
symptom of a pathos
or simply the path that
is meant to be
i used to think there were
no signs along the way
then i found there is no
lack of light as the darkness
falls away

*************************

i have rainbow
in my heart
there was thunder
in my soul
the sky as wide as
my mind and some
how now my heads
above the clouds
i can hear god laugh
out loud up here
i can see with clarity
how dear how near
the tear you are to
me
i have promise
in my life
gifts from my insanity
love from my humanity
and i treasure my sanity
perfection on bended
knee not exactly
no i'm not quite right
but i'm grateful for
the sacrifice every
episode takes its toll
i cherish the want of
you what i need to do
above and below the
clouds to help make
our dreams come true
i take only what i
can give and i remember
i started living when
i started giving

***********************

show me your love
do whats best for me
i see you through a childs
eyes a boys smile and a
mans hand at your
command
i follow the truth of my
thoughts walk the oops
of my faults and with
your love i am a frayed
knot tied taught dread
locked
every time i lost all hope
in her had my faith quaked
by her lost my heart to her
an angel appeared and spoke
in words only god could
know to soothe my soul
encouragement from the
highest to the lowest scar
from the brightest to the
darkest star in between
every in between so far
you sang my vagabond
song as i tagged along
now i'll sing your sacred
song till i'm long gone
how old is the love song
in your soul your heart
wants to know wants
to show wants to grow

*********************

robin egg blue
what more may i do
after i poem you
this page the window
the mirror a tear
in the wow of now
a song thousands
of years long
scarlet red breast
all are blessed
none the wiser
none the less
you won't see this
won't taste this won't
know this won't feel
this unless you're
looking for love
i can hear your heart
beat from here brave
and true i'll bring the
spring and we'll teach
this world to sing

**********************

you lift my vision
with falling stars
you take my breath
away to give me voice
you show me silence
and i sing
you touch me with
the way i touch
you hold me close
closer than most
and i am as free
as a tree
you are my mirror
in the sky and the
mirror in me
what if i made god
would you blame me
perhaps we can become
a flock of hawks or an
army of buddhas
i guess all i'm trying
to say is read into the
light of our souls
the very mystery
you need to know

***********************

if you see me
in the clouds
we'll laugh out loud
if you see me
in the trees don't
mind me
if you hear me in
a rock lets talk
if you find me on
the road i'll help
carry the load
and if you find me
at home i may put
you in a poem
and if you find me
in the night hold
me with all your
might

**********************

i saw another one
the dance of the soul
i did not know its worth
till i saw it through your
eyes saw it in your size
saw it as your prize
your gift to lift my spirit
to renew the who are you
to be shown i would know
why i wonder why i wander
why i go beyond yonder
again when i tasted your
grace i felt you stir me
someplace deep and wide
inside and i paused
in awe when i saw a prance
perchance the dance
of the soul

*********************

i'm just rummaging
through these words
looking for spirit perhaps
a thought to turn a
phrase to twirl these
words across the page
a dance perhaps to fly
away
how do you say these
words of praise of focus
this moment the crack
through the threshold
of prose to the beauty
of poetry the twinge
of a open heart a open
mind a narrow path
a thread thats hard to
say until i get my ego
out of the way and then
the poem comes a thousand
times in my mind perhaps
from a thousand years ago
a voice rolling this world of
words around on my tongue
like a nipple a voice rolling
my beloved and i around
the sun speaking as one
seems so simple the voice
of the voices rolling around
rummaging in my soul
this i know like a ripple

******************

i've been in love
most of my life
yet i am alone
again tonight
she is not by
my side she is
in my heart
i do not see the
face of my love
yet i know she
is the beauty
of god
i do not touch
her body yet she
heals my very
soul
i do not math
the path of love
yet with her i've
walked many
paths through
pathos
my god i feel
the strength of love
the power of love
the glory of love
and i cry

*****************

will all my wishes
make a well
did i break the spell
of hell
each thought brought
to tell like a silent bell
a poem on a page
perhaps a yell
perhaps that falling
star that just fell
will all my wishes
come true
i have seen only a few
all i ask for is the proper
point of view

****************

awefull
man i wanted
to see and damn
was i shown
all i wanted
to be was left
alone
all i wanted
is given still
i roam
all i want
to do is touch
you my poem

*******************

spend me
i am your candle
this is the night
each flicker of the
flame calls your
name but does not
speak
harvest my fruit
sacred in sweet
release
find the secrets
of life but do not
keep
give what you are
given as you
seek
i'm getting dim now
my medicine is
weak
like dancers all the
true answers twirl
towards peace

***********************

today
i feel like a little
chickadee in
the flight of wings
within
i can see the hawks
grin why the angels
sin where the end
begins
its amazingly crazy
what a person can
be when they know
you are listening
all i ask is to let me
be who i am
genuine
you touch the tip
of my nose and i
know that that
is all you ask
of me

******************

can i come
up for air
can i come
up to speed
can i come
indeed
i ask to share
to make my life
plural to give
my love body
and soul
when i feel alone
i go to where the
hum comes from
where all dissolves
into one
and somehow all
is ok
like a white line
drawn around
everything
like the vine taught
me to sing
like i'm alone this
time to earn my
wings
like i come to find
the kindness your
love brings

***********************

may i confide
in you
the blackness dissolves
as you solve the darkness
may you love the mystery
treasure the insanity
and heal your wounded
soul to see
there is no lack of light
may you be thankfull
for the sacrifice and
say your prayers twice
for the insight of strife
to teach you the correct
might of life
she will share her beauty
and give her love her
breath her breast
to the best you
can do

***********************

the night is forever
and always a day
away
whenever my cup
overflows pure joy
whenever i found
i found my voice
pure joy
whenever i found
i found my vision
pure joy
whenever i found
i found i've healed
pure joy
though i my not
know may i see
though i may not
see may i know
my heart will one
day die and that's
ok i won't notice
because i have
lived on love
the blood of the
moon the beat
of wings the dove
my beloved her hum
her drum her song
will always live on
the endless night
that gives me sight
and teaches me
touches me trusts
in me the divine
light of today

*********************

i'm coming out
of this space the vessel
of my heart the light
of my soul if touch
be told
her grace all is love
her nod all is god
i'm coming out
of this place the wound
of darkness the seeds
of all needs the womb
of all creation
the search night nurse
the worth the curse
there you are my beloved
in between every in
between
moon mother granny
in every nook and
cranny
we are all blessed
none the wiser none
the less
i'm coming out
of faith and fate
i'm coming out
of thunder and quake
i'm coming out
of bliss and ache
i'm coming out
of break and make
i'm coming out
of give and take
i'm coming out
i am awake

******************

some say to follow
the feather leads
to insanity
god blessed the crazies
to be the feathers
on the wings of forever
the asylum is two doors
down from the temple
they share the same
stairs they share the
same stares they share
the same pain they
share the same rain
one is filled with wonder
when the other is
filled with thunder
ravishly and dervishly
when i speak of insanity
all i hear is fear
i 'd rather be crazy
than be afraid
when i speak of insanity
all i hear is horror
madness is a monster
that guards a door to
the treasures of the
soul
i fought madness for
thirty years and walked
many wards many times
and found kindness found
peace found spirit found you
found me found this path
of love and found i've
healed
i must of done something
right
i cherish my insanity as
much as i cherish my feather
i could not be one without
the other

***********************

come with me
silently along the path
through the woods
of the soul
come with me
selflessly through the
flame
follow the wandering
vine like a tag along
vagabond to the temple
inside
let the moon rise
in your eyes
perhaps you'll take the
stairs up or down
to your power
perhaps you'll see
with poetry the eclipse
of our lips
come with me
to the temple of touch
come to the caress
of the goddess
may you feel this
within and throughout
your doubts
come here to put the
love back in your hug
come here
to be touched as much
as you love to touch

*************************

i can't touch you
from here
it hurts to be a
who
not to be two
i choose not to
suffer
i loose the feel
of the words
deeper than the
blues
thunder dipped
in black ice
blunder
i learned to be
selfless
till you nuzzled
me back to the
light
now i cry
with ease
and affection

********************

why can't i be
human
make a mistake
for me
maybe if i stop
and see the possible
i won't have to do
the impossible
will words make it
right
if this is not real
then why is every
thing so unbelievably
clear and beautiful
i'm not allowed to
look into the future
but every way i went
today led me to you
in every hug with
every smile every
laugh there was you
a love with no face
no body again
tonight
is every thought of
you ego
is this the start of
another episode
so i did it
i let go of fear
here i come

*********************

i feel your gallop
give me strength
i hear your song
teach me please
to sing along
your pleasure is
my treasure your
treasure is my
pleasure
i know i'm touched
i know i share the
shine perhaps these
words will tell me
why
i'm learning to heal
i'm learning to die
i welcome your
wisdom grace this
place state your
state of being of
seeing join us
believing
my words are
habitual perhaps
ritual
when i speak out
of you you speak
out of me and may
the reader make three
in dialog with the
wings of hawks the
whispers the talk of
the moon the shrouded
silence of the trees
i follow my feet and
you give me hooves
to ride to the beat
of the drum
and in my hands i'll keep
the rhythm sweet

***************************

kiss me if you will
accompany me to the
temple in the woods
of my soul
you can see it from here
down there below
the rainbow
where the doves flock
to the clock of the
setting sun where the
lovers hide watching the
moonrise over the pond
beside the sacred fires
at twilight there will
be a moonblaze the kind
to go crazy with crave
safely in my songs
in my arms a blaze the
kind to chew through
your chains the blaze
the kind to ask please
please me
i am not searching
for god in these ashes
i am searching for
you my love to
accompany me free
to soar free to love
once more
pure

*************************

what a beautiful
beautiful giggle
the glee
share this with me
the flock of sparrows
flew onto the tree
then fell in a twirl
of wind as autumn
leaves
on this bright
spring day
all i can say
is your words
my child
poem me

**********************

i'm in pursuit
of more than i know
chomping at the bit
by bit by bit
yet each sip is more
than enough more
than wonderlust
more than all of us
your little helpings
that aligns me with
you like the wine of
the moon
times me to you
overhead wing
spread and
rhymes me anew
when you say
you can find me
in you
greater than can
ever be said these
words in my head
in my heart in my
soul tonight
my vision today was
a temple in the woods
of my soul ancient
and overgrown
the beauty was filled
with the want of your
kiss i see you now in
the mists
kiss me kiss me
to keep me kiss me
to keep me from
going astray kiss me
to heal me kiss me
i pray
perhaps this is the
temple of touch
the touch of lips and
tongues here where
touch becomes one
kiss by kiss by kiss

***********************

in one of my haunts
i saw the giggle move
through the room
as the giggle went by
people would get the
biggest grins
i'm in awe of this
place this neighbor
hood house of spirits
i've seen this place
come alive in quiet
darkness
i would always get
spooked and have
to leave
there's enough
presence in here to
post a no vacancy
sign outside
everyone knows the
deceased owner still
runs the place
some say there's an
honor to be shown
spirit
its hard to stay afraid
when a giggle goes
by
i never knew the old
man but i'm sure
he knows me

********************

i have come to bang
the drum
i am unbelievably
happy
you can't touch
the way i feel
i made it back
from the other
side
seems i can only
benefit myself and
others when
i go my own way
i am willing to pay
the toll for you
here is my fair
share
i have two too many
pair
i know you can hear
my voice can you
hear the spirit
what i did was
not wrong i'm just
wondering if it
was right
oh wait here comes
a blessing i have
achieved

******************

my fondness
i can't stop touching
you
inside i dance
i close my eyes
sweet romance
i remember your touch
and trance
your kiss told me
i have a chance
as you rubbed your
thigh into the bulge
of my pants
i'd love for you
to meet the needs
of all my little larry
seeds

************************

allow me to cheer
for you be dear to
you i tear for you
allow me to call
you my love my
fondness my dove
allow me to see
you clear through
with my hands
clear through with
my heart all the way
through the night
with this kiss my
might
allow me to care
allow me to share
allow me to be your
larry bear
the times i must
rhyme to smooth
the grooves implied
must i convince
perhaps just a pinch
to proove there's
nothing wrong with
my want of you

*************************

may you hear this
in candlelight in star
light in lovelight
may you hear this
with shared breath
winged heart and
bare breast
may you hear this
i'll bring enough
touch for the both
of us
i'll send you my
friend upon the
song that has no
end
i'll slip through
your lips one more
kiss closer to bliss
may you hear this
i crack open the
prose to give you
this rose this show
of affection
may you hear this
when you read this
when you need this
when you want to
think of me

******************

a bond to all
icons at best
spirit becomes flesh
blessed none the less
to know the whole wide
world starts with your
endless caress
stroked and undressed
at rest
i am given the quest
of love life's test
i am given the quest
of the dove life's best
i am given this spiritual
quest life's fest
led wingspread
hawk crow geese buzzard
all my sisters and brothers
teachers of flight seekers
of the light keepers of
the might
thank you all for one more
peaceful night
thank you all for all
that is wrong and all
that is right
thank you all for turning
how i write into sight
thank you all
i no can do what i do
without you

*******************

my child
poem
my brother respect
my sisters
embrace my beloved
grace
there's a whole lot
of nothing out there
there's always a little
something in here
a nibble a twitch
a peek a lick
i've heard the buddha
knows there are no
buddhas
i've known wisdom
to know beyond
knowing
i've known love
this mystery that
sustains me unchains
me names me
my fondness
i hear your call
i give you my all
at last i am the first
to fall in love
i don't know if i'm
going up or down
yet my love for you
makes this world
go round

************************

i figured it out
i am a sprout
of the divine vine
growing glowing
flowing through my
soul spirit becomes
art as you flow
through my heart
i'm trying to remain
sane as you flow
through my viens
through my brain i
sprout on a hard
winters night a
sprout out of my
mind under my hat
i am taught in ways
that cannot be taught
i am told in ways
that cannot be told
i believe in these new
leaves for they are
spiritually you and
me

******************************

the sun shone through
the clouds like the
moon last night
the dark is not
the darkness
is peace worth
fighting for
can you kill
with kindness
i ask what may
i fix in this maddness
in this sadness in
this struggle
i've heard the remark
all that is needed
is one brave heart
to carry the hope
the light of our love
into the night into
the wisdom into
the might

*******************

pssssssst
have you heard
the soul is a verb
have you seen
both the mirror
inside and the mirror
in the sky have you
the third eye the eye
in the palm or the
ear of song and verse
i can hear you from
here 'of course!'
i ponder my worth
to the earth the worth
to the pain of my
birth and i don't
mind being reminded
your love is free
i want to right every
wrong yet you say
let it be let it be
let it be
i know i don't know
please widen my mind
wise my eyes and please
open me show your
needs of me hidden in
this great mystery

*************************

god drunk
you gotta be crazy
to stay sane
after a glimpse
of god
blessed be the insanity
the view clear through
what appears to be
reality
everybody is looking
for the greatest
revelation
i see you in the
tinyest of situations
at the end of my day
i'm glad when i can
say i saw you
today
and helped
in some way

*******************

everything is in its place
years of want nights of
crave to wait the heaviest
weight i could take
this million dimensional
puzzle of life with an infinite
number of pieces
to build the verse of the
universe and my piece
of the puzzle fits
perfectly
i am unbelievably happy
everything is starting to
make sense
i gasp for my very first
breath and these are the
first words out of my mouth
i see myself now in the
gleam of her eyes

********************

this is the result
of the tree in me
i stand with her beat
up through my feet
i no doubt have my
doubts i shout i pout
this is the result
of a hard to live life
i always needed my
best effort no mistakes
sanity my daily chore
my ache
now i just soar
selflessly
through the mind of
my world
i'm naked here naked
in every way you can see
this is the result
of her cure to be pure
and true
this is the result
of my love for you
my burden is gone
the light shines on

******************

i ask
what more may i do
to soar with you
what more may i do
after i poem you
i sing through you
my beloved i sing
through you
to all the scheming
wizards and demons
sorry i have the power
of love
i'm going to love you
no matter what
you say or do
may these poems reach
deep in you melt the
fight in you wink in the
heart of you and shine
the shoes of your soul
for you
let me know when
you change your
mind
i'll ask
what more may i do
after i touch you

***********************

knowing how hard i try
to verse these days
she whispers may i
coax you to sing
and of course all
i could do is giggle
seems i write best
when i have nothing
to say
i feel i've been called
front and center yet
i know she is saving
the best for last
perhaps a sweet sweet
gasp her smile this
setting sun her laugh
the evening to come

*****************

i keep telling myself
to get out of my way
this is the me when
i'm not there
where my mind is free
my heart speaks to me
my soul the roots of
being the path of
seeing inside the path
past the ego past the
past past the want
past all control to the
mighty tree in my
soul
here where my beloved
waits for me to become
we again selflessly

****************

must be time
to fly
night side
must be time
to hide
dark side
must be time
to sigh
right side
up

****************
nite nite