A LEAF AND FEATHER -------- ©2014 Lawrence A. McFadden all rights reserved

ancient scenes
of the pipe
dream
love beams
of the pipe
dream
honey and cream
of the pipe
dream
time is the seam
of the pipe
dream
she is the waves
of the sea
waves waving at me
she is the trees she
is a moon beam
she is my love
my love
of the pipe
dream

**************************

the voice was
persistent
"you are weak"
it was from a
red road ancient
one
"you are weak"
i finally answered
"stop judging me"
and he said
"stop trying to be
like us"

***************

i walk the park
most every day
and most every day
a hawk appears
and circles directly
above me and better
yet lands in the trees
above me
when i talk to them
the words are talking
to me
how many times
am i shown before
i can see
mother may i
i am a leaf and she
brings me a feather
i know one day i'll
know what to say
hawks are a one word
bird
i searched my soul for
why the hawks fly
through my thoughts
all i can hear is you
must trust you must
trust us
and again my beloved
reminds me
you'll see my love
you'll see

*******************

my path
peace and love
at last
my task
i make love poem
just ask
my wrath
no one can harm me
if i do not harm
myself
no one can harm me
if i have no enemy
within
broken people will
break you wounded
people will wound
you
its easier to do when
its been done to
you
you can waste your
life with hate
you can die any way
you want
you need to hurt me
with your hurt
may i show you the
things that make life
worth living
may i guide you
through the hell of
being you
may i help you heal
if you see it in me
you can see it in you
bless you bless you
bless you
i look to the mirror
in the sky inside
and ask mother
may i

*******************

i cannot tell you
how i'm told
i cannot show you
how i'm shown
if i could everybody
would
to be long gone beyond
the world of words
to be long gone beyond
the point of knowing
to be long gone beyond
beyond
that's where i'll be
that's where you'll see
that's where we
belong
where time does not
go the temple of our
soul
i'll be may we all be
together the feathers
on her wings of
forever

****************

i am adrift
on a ocean of
bliss
i bob along like
a bob along vagabond
a smile ear to ear
many miles here to
here the crest of each
wave a caress each wave
a bouquet
each wave waves
i'm not very far away
you can be my shore
good lord lets explore
if you taste like the
sea
rock me hard rock me
hard and deep rock
me hard and deep and
free
and when you're done
just pour me back into
the sea

*********************

there are storms
ahead buckle in
and buckle up
i may be overwhelmed
but i'm the best man
at the helm
i may be old fat and
lazy but you need me
for my crazy you need
me for my courage
you need to be in my
heart in my hands
brace your self with
my embrace
brace your self for the
thunder brace your self
for the grace when the
madness stops chewing
on you when the madness
stops the madness
there is no storm more
powerfull than love
you can tell the tale
of loss the ship's mast
our cross
or you can tell the tale
of no regrets you need
life you need death
you need the storms
ahead in your head
sometimes you will
wash up on the beach
of self defeat
and sometimes you'll
laugh out loud atop
a thunder cloud

***********************

god willing
steady as she goes
i've seen my soul
unfold
i'm one of the richest
men alive with the
treasures inside
i give because i know
what it is like to be
without
i hate the same ache
i have the same doubt
the dread twists and
shouts
when you hear that
stadium cheer
when the world calls
your name
and your solitude
becomes full of i love
yous
when you are in dialog
with your god
remember
your voice is heard
clear around the world
look to the angels
their art is showing you
god is the love in
your heart

******************

the spirit is here
you need to understand
its in the palms of your
hands
you need to know the
show you need to ask
for a task
when you need the spirit
the spirit needs you
we need to be taught
as a tot the world we live
in is the world we believe
in
you will find moon mother
granny in every nook
and cranny
i'm sorry but you won't
find god fits in a box
don't expect words to
guide you
there is madness there
is grace
all in the same
place
the spirit appears through
our wonder through the
things we hold dear
the spirit is a knowing
the spirit is always
showing the way
and today it all starts
in your heart

*****************

how many times
do you find the divine
is still in your
mind
a restfull thought
a kind word
a giggle
call me sir
iflopalot call me
god drunk call me
puff freely
why must i wait
for no reply
you say you love me
but when i try to show
my affection you look
at me like are you
fucking insane
yes i am and i'm
to blame
oh well never mind
i'll slip through the
white and blue of the
sky
i'll slip through the
wrinkle in time
i'll slip through your
lips if you want to
taste mine
therapy the nipple
i don't think you know
how your kiss would
ripple and quake
my soul
i sense you don't want
to know
my beloved just laughs
and says let go and let's
go let's go find those who
care find those who share
i am a who are you
there

*********************

i don't want to
talk i want to
touch
i can only show
you when i hold
you
i am so tired of empty
words i am so tired
of empty arms
do you know the
strength of gentleness
the power of kindness
the glory of love
and all you want me
to do is talk
i'll talk i'll talk
with walking words
with hawks flying
through our thoughts
with the verse of the
universe
don't you see i need
to touch what i love
because i love to touch
i can see when i touch
you can hear me in my
hands
i can mend you
i can make you feel
fresh and new
feel my charm i can
only show you when
i hold you in my
arms
why do i have healing
hands when love is
always out of
reach

*****************

i heard you fall
the news is nothing
but the blues
i'm too drunk to pray
and god wouldn't
listen anyway
i've had the blues
so long i ain't white
no more
do you want to know
how i survived how
i rid my life of the
blues
i quit drinking twenty
two years ago
i know you don't want
to hear this shit but
yes i quit
if you can't take it if
you can't face it if you
can't embrace it
let me guide you through
the hell of being you
you will always find a
reason to drink i know
your hurt is huge
i ain't asking you to quit
singing the blues i am
asking you to stop
destroying yourself with
booze

*******************************

real life really?
its like waiting for
christ to come
waiting for the wisdom
to come waiting to
belong to some
one in love my
love
my love will always
do what's best for
you
and if you love
being in love
open your heart
to the world and be
a being a being
of love
all it takes is courage
all it takes is to be
grateful for the sacrifice
it takes a brave heart
to be a great heart
love will teach you
how to do what you
love
love will turn your
heart into a cup of
kindness
the chalice and
phallus
love will teach your
hands to touch
love will mend your
weep
the ways you heal
yourself are the ways
you heal others
your heart can't heal
until you heal your
heart
right time right place
right person
jesus don't wait for
jesus the wise must
master madness and
grace
love is being a being
of love
your touch will tell
you
close your eyes
and see with your
heart why god is on
the tip of your tongue
when you live your
part you'll know god
is the love in your
heart

*****************

our path is the
steepest when we are
the weakest
this gives our song the
strongest bond
this takes from our
hearts the darkest
parts
this is why we are
stronger than
strong
i'm amazed at what
we can do when we
have to when we're
called to when there
is the power of
two
i may fly solo but no
the spirit never leaves
me alone
i can say i've been alone
most of my life but no
there are too many
to thank
i may have been alone
but i have been in love
almost all my life
kinda like going from
wife to wife the spirit
gives my love
life
if you knew the hell
i've been through
the emotional cripple
searching for a nipple
how the insanity
keeps me sane
you'll see my god
gives me the love
i need to sustain
me
if you doubt this is
real take a good look
at how i've healed
my hands will tell you
my heart will show
you this is how my soul
will know you
we have mountains to
climb there are many
moons above to
love
i can see god's smile
for miles and miles
and miles

********************

what i say
has always been
said
the thread tied
to forever
the story a reality
they are only words
yet they are the way
they were always
meant to be
to see when you read
to mend the broken
when spoken
as hard as stone
the truth of a poem
i hear you today
i hear you tonight
you are my darkness
you are my light
you welcome me
to the poet's dream
thousands and thousands
of poets' souls
ago
my turn to speak
my thread of the
web
may you pause in awe
when my soul says
hello from long
ago
and you find your
thoughts have always
been thought
and today they are
said in new and
beautiful
ways

*****************

you define
whats on my mind
time after time after
time
you are in my heart
mine all mine
ha!
show me how to show
my affection
all i know is i can
make love
poem
rhyme after rhyme
after rhyme
i welcome you to
my bowl i sing for
you from my
soul

***************

kindness after kindness
after kindness after
kindness after kindness
after kindness after
kindness
makes my love
timeless makes my heart
mindless and makes
my caress endless

*******************

peace your sister
kiss her let her know
you miss her
ask to be shown ask
for her touch ask for
a task
peace your sister
she knows what you
want when you want
it and how you want
it and you just met
her
peace your sister
she is sacred she is
god's vessel she is
only a little crazy
from the things that
would drive you
insane
peace your sister
she can take away
your ache she can
give you inner
strength she can heal
you with her holy
grace
peace your sister
she has the hands of
god the mouth of pearls
and in her heart she
has the world
peace your sister
lets go on tour first
my heart then
yours
peace your sister
with her one night can
change your life
with her one night can
change the world

*************************

why is true love
only in my heart
damn man i've got
nothing left to hold
on to nothing left
to do nothing left
to say no way
i was almost lost
in this false world
fake people who fake
what they say the
greed me me me
i want it now and
i want it all
fuck you
i'm so glad i let go
i'm so sad i must say
goodbye there is
nothing left
to hide
some only see the
words the lost in
this false world
i see your heart
and like a thousand
other times a thousand
other crimes a thousand
other shrines
i too must let go of
you when your word
love is empty and i have
been used i asked and
you gave me nothing
in return and there i go
letting go yes there i go
yes you see the truth
does set you free
yes i see there's nothing
left but the truth
in me

*****************

if thats the way
god wants it
i have nothing left
to hold on to
i didn't lose anything
i just let go
some need the freedom
to do things i need the
freedom to be my
being
and the only no i hear
is from my own
fears
the tears of freedom
ring loudly in my
ears
no my dear freedom
is not free there is
great sacrifice there
is great responsibility
you have to keep in
mind true freedom
is a free mind
i know you must go
i know i must
become
the wing and the
wheel the passion
and compassion
i feel
i'm afraid if i release
my hold i'll just
explode
you're afraid if you
don't go you'll
explode
a death without
dying a selfless
self to be free when
we ash all desire
as we pass through
the flames of our
paths
you do the math
there are no more
no's now and that
just scares the holy
shit right out of me
to live a life of no
no's to be the being
in the bowl of my
soul
to be a being of love
with no no's
that is freedom my
love that is the open
road that is
ecstasy
thats the way god
wants it for you
and me

******************

if you believe in a
judgemental and vengefull
god then you will become
judgemental and
vengefull
my god does not judge
me my god loves me
and i will become love
my god is not vengefull
my god gives me gifts
of the spirit because
i live a life of sacrifice
because i hear it
god lets me believe
what i see know and
touch and believe me
my god shows me so
much
the mirror in the sky
all you see in god
you see in yourself
my god is a comedian
he thinks he's so funny
he kills me every chance
he gets and you'll hear
the thunder clap when
he has the last laugh
he doesn't have a
yardstick to rule you
only foolish things
will fool you
and christ my god
where is the divine
feminine in christianity
you have replaced the
goddess with the devil
thats your fault and
with your greed your
glee you only want
the holy part
you don't see the spirit
you don't feel it or hear
it
you fill the void with
your ego and all you
want is want
you say your god is the
only true god but look
at all the people hurt
when you don't care
for the poor and
hungry
the poor are rich with
spirit and the hungry
can taste god's
grace
you are poor of spirit
and always hungry
always hungry for
more
christ christ
look at what your
followers have done
jesus they need to be
saved all over again
no wonder you're
coming back
the goddess will tell
you the third time
is the charm
the goddess knows
the true god is the
love in your heart
jesus thank you
i've been taught
the goddess
jesus thank you
you give me the gift
of enlightenment
and jesus thank you
jesus for the healing
touch of my hands of
my heart of
my art

**********************

trapped
by a sleeping cat
on my lap
she brings me feline
love love the mistake
love the ache love the
quake
she brings me touch
the purr of her the purr
of my endless caress
if she could tell me
she wouldn't
i'm not gonna wake her
up this time is not
wasted
there is nothing more
sacred than stillness
this kind of fullfillment
this kind of kindness
may i ask you to come
sleep in my lap too
come take a nap
you me and my cat named
scat an affair in a rocking
chair
i hope it rains all afternoon
a spirit rain call a carefull
rain all a gentle rain
fall
and i'll fall asleep too
rocking rocking rocking
away our blues

*********************

how many marches
have i led in your
head
i keep count of the
july's
i call cadence
left left left right
left
your momma was
there when you left
you're right
your daddy was there
when you left
you're right
sound off one two
bring it all down
three four one two
three four!
a hundred men locked
in unison
hell we ain't marching
out there we are dancing
banner high
here comes company
number two twenty
five
left right left right
now its part of my
pride this memory like
the tide brings the scent
of the sea back to me
i am there in my mind
through the wrinkle in
time
one of the best feelings
of my life what a sight
forty two years ago and
today i still hear the
boots the boom of voice
the cadence
the call of my calling
calling me
where the boys become
men where the men
become sailors oh boy
this again brings me to
tears after all these years
i still have the tears
of joy

**********************

i'm an old fat lazy hippie
you may appreciate me
one day
you need me for my crazy
you need me for my courage
i would have changed long
ago and not been me but
i was shown once again
what a child sees
in a flower
i was told to be the power
of a flower how a love
blooms making the whole
wide world more
beautifull
a thousand petals in my
head my roots through
my boots
i knew it back then but
i did not know
i saw it back then but
i did not see
take a good look at me
i am happy take a good
look at a loving heart
take a good look at a
peacefull soul
yeah imagine that
you do the math
you may trouble me
with your mystery
you may treasure
me when you know
my worth
people like me will give
you every possibility
take the opportunity
and come sit with the
flowers and me and
daydream
think of being a seed
a vine the leaves
think of being my
love my love
may i show you what
you need why i might
fall in love with
you
because i see the beauty
of the flowers in your
heart in your art
you mend me when
i mend you with the grace
with the face of a flower
sit with me and lets share
our powers
i bet i can make you
giggle i have a gentle
touch a endless caress
i love to touch tongues
my sweet i am the petals
at your feet
now you know me now
now you know a love
child
can you hear the wild
laughter of the flowers
welcoming you to bloom
in their beds to bloom
in your head
even the moon can bloom
a flower
all in all
all your tears fall on her
garden all your faults have
been pardoned
learn not to take and don't
take love for granted
what are you waiting for?
bloom where you're
planted

***************

only my bones
will fit in a box
my thoughts are like
a million rocks right
between the eyes
my feelings reach for
the ceiling
my mind as wide as
the sky
the world is a pearl
under my tongue
look here in my heart
there is everyone
the sun the moon and
you too
are you afraid to have
fun can you love more
than some one
i go beyond beyond
in a for forever song
i wander in wonder
and shout my verse
into the universe
may i cheer you my
dear may i free you
with my laughter
a giggle
trying to fit me in a
box i have too much
ash of time too much
ash of rhyme way too
much ash of desire
i've learned to welcome
the fire
i must lust i must be
in motion add a little
lotion perhaps the
ocean
i'm free from the
thoughts in a box
only my love can keep
me only my love can
keep me
free

*********************

tag along
little tag along
vagabond
i love your giggle
at my wiggle my
waddle my do
little
i laugh out loud
when you realize
we will be plowing
through the clouds
to sow the seeds of
a gentle rain a gentle
touch and such
i'll take away your
ache i'll take away
your hate
may i bless you with
my endless caress
may you be my being
of love may we love
body and soul
with you the whole
wide world is
whole

******************

i feel her
from here
she knows my love
is real my love is steel
she gives me my crave
of the day i hear her
say make sure he aches
fire up his wants burn
him with desire make
him giggle
i must remember i am
only human
i have learned to braid
the flames
there is a period at the
end of every sentence
where i don't stay
sane
i don't do crazy things
i go crazy to stay sane
the worst part is the
hurt in my heart
the wound of the
world
some of you know
so well know
because thats how
you see it hear it and
feel it
like any monster
the world can not
hurt you if you don't
hurt yourself
too late for me
blessed be the insanity
the ability to heal
twist one up for me
may we smoke a bowl
of victory may we smoke
a bowl of crazy may we
smoke a bowl and enjoy
the crave of the
day

*******************

something draws me
to you something fresh
something new
may i guide you through
the hell of being
you
i crave touch as much
as you do
may i mend your heart
may i encourage your
art
may i give you my best
caress and may my
tongue do the
rest

*****************

i am on bended knee
please please me
you cannot hide the
desires in your
eyes
i feel you tremble
i feel you quake
when you look at
me can you feel
my ache
i know you hate
to feel broken
i feel the hurt
but we must kiss
the hand that brings
us pain
our prayers bring
the gentle rain
i too am as open
as you i too am as
open as you i too
am as open as
you
close your eyes
i want to see you
smile when i am
inside
close your eyes
and see with your
heart see with your
love see with your
touch
thats all i do
it would open your
eyes if you knew
how much i am
like you
i need four words
from your heart
from your eyes
from your lips
four words you
know are true
i need to hear you
say "i would love
to"

********************

sometimes you just
have to say it doesn't
have to be perfect
today
its not about seeing
new things its all about
seeing the same thing
in new ways
ding a ling after all
did you see what you
just saw
i saw you once where
time does not go
you were the chalice
and i the phallus
i tried to find you
outside and all i needed
to do was look inside
i feel the same way you
do when i caress
you
i speak from my heart
spirit spark my hands
are my sight intuition
my insight
i've seen karma go full
circle too many times
not to know what to
know
the sacred twist
when all you can say
is holy shit
i will look for you
more often than i can
tell i'll be a guide through
your hell the thread we
must wisely tread how we
must be hollow reeds
hollow reeds in
deed
the blaze of the moon is
in my soul roaring out
of control and yet only
those who try to put out
the fire are burned by
the flame
may i please stay insane
may i please stay in love
may i please stay in
touch
hey look here comes that
period again i must be
at the end of my
sentence
i must go and gather
the evening fire
if you stay or if you stay
away thank you for
reaching out to me
i feel you
everytime i hug you
you giggle and my god
i feel such a ease come
over me
i want to dance with you
nude through my heart
nude in a gentle rain
no shame no blame
no pain a dance
nude wet and blessed
with you

**********************

into the yard and
a half of my
smile
into the crystal
clear stillness of my
thoughts
into the light
so bright of my
eyes
into the crave
i must say of my
caress
into the place
of grace of your
embrace
into the ache
the break of my
heart
into those that know
the treasures of my
soul
and yes you must
let it in and yes you
must let it out
all i want to do now
takes two
but my life cannot wait
for you i cannot lead
or follow
take my hand and i will
thank every grain of
sand
my heart beats for
you my heart is blue
without you
look for love my love
look for love my love
look for love my love
thats the only way
you'll find me
touch me
thats the only way
you'll know me
kiss me
thats the only way
you'll show me
you are the one i want
on the tip of my
tongue
you are the one i want
in my heart in my
art
where one plus one
is one

*************************

twat twat
therapy the nipple
for something so simple
so beautifull so
free
can you survive your
inner most desire
those that do will bless
you when you do
i can tell theres a greater
fire than hell when a spark
of love is ablaze in your
heart
but the flames of love
are pure and true
the fire that quenches
the water that burns
i braid the flames
wondering how much
longer i can stay sane
when you turn your
love my way
it takes a brave man
to love a woman
i fall in love most every
day
i can stay in love i can
stay in tune i have
survived bless you
and may i speak to every
woman every woman
i'll ever love
is this the way god
planned it?
all i can say is bless you
bless you
goddammit!

************************

i feel a breeze
you must be
near
i lite the incense
and warm the
oil
why does the way
the smoke fades
make sense
why do i know the
names of all your
flames
you make the shadows
dance inside my skull
with your flicker with
your love
i have a need to touch
you hear my plea for
you to touch me
but i already am
touched by god's hand
touched in the head
the shine
i feel your eyes touch
mine every time you
smile
and through the want
the want of my tongue
my touch of desire
you are the one my love
you are my fire

********************

there have been many
monsters on my path
they could only destroy
me with my own
wrath
i used my rage to chew
through the chains
i used my will
to fly
thank god for my love
a love has always
sustained me
my love for you ordained
me sacred scarred and
scared
i have no self imposed
halo
look at me with the eyes
of your heart look at me
with the eyes of your
palms
look in the mirror of
me and your brain will
never be the same
feel every drop of rain
feel every kiss you have
missed
look at me with the eyes
of the world look at life
as a pearl
let go and lets go
let your love
unfurl

*************

i feel so soothed
caressing you
so smoothed
soft and true
hard enough to be
gentle strong enough
to be kind
i am clear out of my
mind
i hug every one yet
there is no one to hold
only my art
i know you love me
through your heart
may i love you through
body through soul
i shake my fist at the
sky why why why am
i alive to be alone
my ache breaks me
to the bone and i just
get stoned
all i can do is wait for
you create for you
touch the thoughts
of you
i have everything
everything but the
power of two

*********************

may i love you
without a noun
all over town
out of bounds
may i love you
i can tell
its way deeper than
hell the bell i can tell
but i can't spell
that damn bell silent
silent silent in my own
hell ring for me
goddammit
ring that bell
the wisdom is coming
the wisdom is coming
the wisdom is coming
i can tell
yet the silence is louder
louder than any bell
around
may i love you
without a sound

*****************

you rock my world
in the cradle of miracles
in my heart
you are the ache of all
my broken hearts
you grace me with your
wisdom the knowing in
my heart
you are god's vessel
pouring in my heart
you are the joy when
i opened my
heart
you keep me in love
the art of my
heart
we do not call you
god we call you
goddess
you are my sister
of sisters and i brother
of your kindred brothers
only a few men like us
are taught the goddess
hell taught me to be
a man of god heaven
taught me to be a child
of god
you need my crazy
you need my courage
the path through the
pathos the path between
hallucinations and
halloweens
the path through the
flame
all you ever want me
to be is me and you
give me an awareness
a mind with a hundred
different eyes and a
thousand different
ears
i am one of a million
suns to come
i found him truely
he is the love in your
heart
i work with spirit she
is my moon mother
granny in every nook
and cranny
i have your intuition
i want everyone to know
you can heal you are
blessed none the wiser
none the less
the spirit in you is the
spirit in me
all you need to do is
ask and perhaps
say please

*****************

i am on cue
yet even i am broken
chipped for life
i'll only do whats best
for you is unspoken
if i can fix me
i can fix you
healing is not an event
love is not an event
spirituality is not an
event
it is all a process a
process with no
beginning and with
no end my friend
oh dear yes you will
tremble with fear
oh boy yes you will
tremble with joy
may you stop in the
stillness may you
stop and open your
heart may you stop
and knock on my
door to open your
heart to the
world
want to learn
something cool
don't be afraid of the
fool learn their tools
want to be more aware
then close your eyes
see what you feel and
feel what you see
want more spiritual
experiences there is
nothing that separates
you from me there is
nothing that separates
the spirit world from
the real world there is
nothing that separates
you want one love then
be one you want one
heart then be one
i say one soul then we
are all one

******************

today i need to say
it looks like love
is here to stay
there is love in my
hug love is the art
of my heart
come home i'll make
love poem you are
not alone
i think of you and
i'll never grow old
i think of you and i
am brave and true
my beloved
i think of you and
you giggle when i ask
whats new
you have no body
no face yet i know
you are the beauty
of god you are the
grace of god you are
the love of god
my god is the love
in my heart i looked
every where and found
god there then i saw
love every where
i just need to say love
is here and here and
here love is here
to stay
stay in love my love
i hear you say stay
in love today

***********************

she is god's vessel
she turns my life into
a pretzel
i am the salt and i've
mastered the mustard
my home is in a poem
and there you are
fucking every i swear
why is something so
simple so beautifull
so free so hard for
me
its not your fault
don't blame me
i'm always the last
in line you stir my
ash of time
i don't mind the empty
days its the empty
nights and i hear your
i love you in my head
i shake my fist at the
sky why why why
you are not in my
bed
yet empty words are
the worst its so easy
to say but its not the
truth
if you only want to
want if you only want
to play please go away
don't tease if you're
not going to please
i'd rather be alone and
ache to the bone than
be kissed with false
lips
its a mistake my love
to speak with a fake
tongue to anyone
you say i love you
and when i try to
show my affection
you say what are you
fucking nuts
and i can only say
yes but

*********************

step into my world
whirly girl princess
hula hoop you have
my head doing loop
de loops
and you there playing
with fire i have learned
to braid the flames
it takes respect it takes
devotion it takes desire
you there with the two
huge black bowling
ball eyes i must pass
on your alphabet
pharmacy i like my
psychosis just the way
it is thank you
i'll ask my friends though
because they are my friends
you know
there are so many names
for how great the drugs
are these days when back
in the day all we had to
say was man this is good
shit
you there you that with
the propeller on top of
your hat
there is one at every show
might be the same guy
i don't know can't keep
track
are you after me
the next in line or do you
think i'm after you when
we smoke and i ask to
caress your shoulders
and rub your back
to me its all just another
day another show
how we'll get there i don't
know but i've seen jerry
play and it makes me
smile every day
am i after you
are you sure
do you want some more
come as you are
there's a lot of life in lot
life
come as you are
will the music never
stop
come as you are
the lyrics have written
my life
come as you are
be gratefull for the
sacrifice
come as you are
be blessed by god and
the goddess in the forest
of our church our church
of constant search
our lot in life
and there sure is a lot
of us
if you've never been to
a show just look for me
i'll be the guy with long
hair and a tye dye
see you inside

*******************

its like trying to hold
on for dear life my dear
no wonder you can't
write
you have to let go
of the want let go
of the need let go
of every possibility
stop the expectations
they will blind you
i say get the fuck out
of your way
judge not till you're
done then judge not
and just have fun
if its good hurray
if its bad hurray
fred once said you
have to create the
freedom to create
this is true in your
head too
funny i write best
when i have nothing
to say
i follow the creative
process where ever
it goes
i know it sucks not
to have control but
you don't find control
till you lose control
if its good hurray
if its bad hurray
some of my best poems
i almost stopped half
way through but i knew
to keep going
when you pick up your
pen you have to believe
in majick to write
majick
you have to believe
in love when you make
love
stop writing only thoughts
after all they are only
thoughts
tell a little story with just
thoughts see its glory
start with love my love
and let the words take
you where ever you want
to go
if its good hurray
if its bad hurray
some one once said
we are all blind when we
are learning to see
but i know you know
all you need is a
knowing
get your ego out of the
way and write with the
art of your heart
get your self out of the
way and write in the
light of your soul
lady you've only just
begun learn to have fun
with words pun a word
or two sex it up like you
like it make me
giggle
put it all right between
the eyes with the truth
you can do it when you
get down to it when you
get down to it you can
do it
if its good hurray
if its bad hurray
why get critical it will
only ruin your day
i know you know
all you need is a
knowing
and when you know
you can't let
go

********************

you sang with my heart
i like to think we think
alike
praise your god
i see the beauty of you
praise your god
i feel the love of you
praise your god
i bow to thee taller
tree
you are light years
ahead of me i want
you on top of me
i am blessed with the
best caress my gift
none the less
being open and honest
your gift to me
i praise my god
you renew my faith
in women
i praise my god
the thoughts of you
mend me
i praise my god
for this crystal clear
vision of you

********************

please don't
do what i've done
unless you want to
roam the psych wards
alone time after time
after time after time
unless you have the
strength of many broken
hearts ache after ache
after ache
unless you have the courage
to heal your self all your
life
don't do what i've done
unless you have the
commitment the
devotion
you need to be chosen
one thing you don't
understand is it takes your
whole life it takes a wound
like being ripped from the
womb
can you survive the psychotic
episodes can you afford the
insanity are you willing to
take your medications
are you willing to go it
alone
it takes alot longer but it
makes you alot stronger
all you need to be is
yourself your genuine
self
all you need to do
is follow your feet
truth to truth to truth
do the math and walk
your own path

*****************

i'll be there
by night fall
i heard my sisters
call i give you
my all
you need me
for my crazy
you need me
for my courage
you worry me
i only find peace
when you are within
reach you are the
one i want on the
tip of my tongue
tonight i will find
your smile no matter
the miles
i feel naked just
thinking of you
color me nude in
every hue of
blue
i will find you
in the shadow of
the moon
i see you with my
heart i see you in
my art
i want you in my
life no matter the
miles
i want to see you
smile

**********************

come to me
through your heart
may i touch body
and soul
i caught your thoughts
thats how i know
the oughts and the
ought nots
taught by hawks
the science of
silence
at peace with the
geese that seek
monuments to
a moments kiss
the reward of
a hand to hold
your smile the crescent
sky the moon inside
your thighs
i feel you when i see
you i see you when
i feel you
take my hand
take my ache
we all awake in our
own time in our own
place
bow your head
and say grace

***********************

may i taste
your vanilla
lick lick
the stronger the
sexual attraction
the stronger the
spiritual connection
the stronger the
lifelong bond
the phallus and
chalice in the palace
of love in the church
of constant search
no night is the same
the higher and higher
the flame
the sweet morning dew
my snore after the last
once more
do you dream me
my day is a dream
of you
i can't keep you in
i can't keep you out
believe me when i say
i have no doubt
this song is thousands
of kisses long it is sung
with touching tongues
every time we
come

********************

you embrace me
with your grace
its so simple its the
hardest thing i've
ever done
i don't understand
why i have such a
problem such a
difficulty
its not your fault
don't blame me
i don't understand
why its so hard
its something i never
had and it cuts me
in two it cuts me
clear through

******************

there is so much
more i don't find
sanity anything to
strive for
you've got to be crazy
to stay sane
why don't you question
sanity like you question
insanity
yes i'm real crazy yes
i'm real love i'm real
bravery i'm real my
dove my love is real
i'm just not attached
to any person place
or thing
haven't you heard
my love my heart
my soul is a
verb
i am a being being
a human being being
a being of love
i have the wound
of the world and i'm
right exactly where
god wants me

****************

it takes years
to truely be
kind
it takes years
to truely heal
yourself
it takes years
to truely be
grateful
it takes years
to truely poem
you
it takes years
to truely love
you
it takes years
of tears

********************

i'm always listening
always watching
the less i judge
the greater the
awareness
when you my love
are not an object
or possession
i see crystal clear
i hear perfectly
stay tuned and tune
me up
i've settled down
i've found comfort
i have found all
i seek
thank you for the
mend my friend
my sweet
thank you for taking
away what i couldn't
release thank you
for taking away what
i couldn't let go
i am now lights years
ahead of where i was
a minute ago
the power of a poem
the visable truth the
bravery of love
thank you for taking
away what i couldn't
let go thank you for
the release thank you
for the peace

***********************

the last of the demons
left me at last
i am free
i have been given greatly
and great things are
expected from me
no not really
all i need to do is be
me
i'm learning to be
a hollow reed so the
spirit can sing through
me a hollow reed
between earth and sky
a hollow reed between
heart and soul to be a
hollow reed i'm told
i know i can not lead
or follow i am not
allowed to look into
the future but i know
beyond knowing
i know i must get my
self out of the way
so the spirit can say
here comes the rain
here comes the rain
bound for glory
all aboard
we are going to go up
the mountain drink
from the fountain
and fly to the other
side of forever
ain't nothing gonna
stop this rain train
ain't nothing gonna
stop this glory

************************

the most painfull truths
are our own
i had a bout with an ouch
i regain my wholeness
my soulness
all i can say is ouch
ouch ouch as i heal
inside
sometimes it takes
a quake to awake
me
it took a quake to take
my ache
when i realized why
it took away my ache
inside
it can make a hard man
cry i am broken to the
core
i know its crazy but i
want more i want love
to be my cure
i know love is the only
cure and i wait now
with love without ache
i wait now for the next
big quake

******************

i ask you
whats your sexual
preference and you say
yes
i ask you
whats your pathos
and you pick me up
with your lips
i ask you
did you know from the
beginning there would
be a happy ending
and you wink
i ask you
lets go on tour
first my heart then
yours and you say
i would love to
and i will always
adore the way you
always look at me
when you say once
more

******************

i didn't call myself
a poet till i was 4o
years old
thats when i kept
poetry in my head
all day everyday
i use words like clothes
i wear them in a poem
then wash and dry them
same clothes only fresh
and clean
i asked the spirit world
if i could poem the spirit
world
now this is my job
over a thousand poems
ago
i have found many muses
i am sent many hawks
and yes its true all
spiritual walks lead to
love
i am sorry so few make
it this far
what you don't understand
is it took my whole life
and life is never whole
but there is a hole through
reality where only the brave
can go
and if you want to be chosen
then what do you bring
to the table
its a foolish thing to be
something you are not
the most spiritual souls
i have known don't go around
saying who they are and
what they do
they do their work with no
hoopla they see the unseen
and most of the time they
come and go and you don't
ever know
and please there is no need
to show those that know
what you need to know is
the wound of the shaman
but not all the wounded
are shamans all shamans
are schizophrenic but not
all schizophrenics are
shaman
goddamn i cringe when
i hear someone wants
to be a shaman its like
wanting to go into
combat and believe me
there is something deeply
wrong with that
some say its the most
difficult path
can you heal yourself
when you do all the
world will help you
can you open your heart
to the world when you
do the world will call
you
can you love the unlovable
can you be kind to the
kindless can you teach
peace
can you mend a broken
heart a broken wing
are you strong enough
to have a gentle touch
do you walk the walk
do you live a life of no
blame then see if the
world is calling calling
your name

**********************

i bow to thee
taller tree
i bow to thee
the she of the sea
you found a use
for me my muse
the art of my heart
the best caress the
thought like hawks
the trust whats the
rush do you rest
assured
there is still a dread
in my head i'm not
sure why but its there
right between the
eyes
i still think the tinyest
mistake and we'll all
die
damn that submarine
its like i'm still inside
but thats how we all
stayed alive
i am again in god's
hands never left never
lost hope
god just laughed and
laughed when he made
me pope
i still laugh because its
no joke if you have hope
then you too are a pope
and to be a saint takes
three documented
miracles
i am sorry but three
miracles is just another
good day to me
let there be a boatfull
of hopefull popes let
there be an army of
buddhas
may the buddha always
be a pest may the popes
conquer the world
with hope
i feel the glory coming
coming after me
the glory of hope in
your head the glory of
love in your heart the
glory of peace in your
soul the glory in all
we know
this is the nod
of god

***********************

i will if god will
i will if you will
i will if you all will
i will feel will i will
see will i am called will
be still and i will too
the still fills me with
will and i will too
i still will will you
the wisdom will my
heart will my soul
will
be still until my will
will then i will too
will you

*******************

stay with me
lay with me
i will massage
you for an hour
the best caress
then the viagra
kicks in
i'll warm the oil
i'll rub your needy
feet
may we hug
horizontally
may we love
unconditionally
snuggle up
drink from my
cup
i will touch you
as much as you
love to be touched
the only thing wrong
with a great massage
is you'll always want
a great massage
and thats my job
my calm palms
and yes i can mend
you perhaps a kiss
or two
i'll only do what
your guiding hand
commands
and no my friend
it doesn't have
to end

*******************

i can only imagine
i can sense it i can
sense see i can know
it i can see it in me
i am a witness
blessed be the insanity
blessed be the blessing
of the sea blessed be
the blessing of every
she blessed be god is
the love in me blessed
be
i am a human being
being a being of love
and all you see in me
you see in yourself
blessed be the mirror
of the soul blessed
be the mirror in the
sky
the cloud people
say hi
you pour your grace
in every broken place
in every empty space
face it embrace it
then let it go
the spirit will never
leave you
alone
yes i know imagine
that a hatfull of love
a handfull of grace
can you see your
face in my soul
yes i know imagine
that

****************